The Bewilderness

Saintsational: support your local cheerleader

The Telegraph has an interview (lucky journalist!) with the cheerleading team who have accompanied the New Orleans NFL team to play over here. The unsurprising aspect of this interview is that the cheerleaders view their activity (a mixture of dance and gymnastics) as a form of calling. They are also highly motivated individuals whose success is replicated in their choice of careers:

All dancers from as young as five, the girls see it as a higher calling, a literal spreading of happiness like ENSA during the war. Only these girls are busy pursuing different careers in the meantime. Dianne is a medical student, Amanda S is studying marketing and accounting, Bethany T is a biology student, while Amanda T, the rookie of the bunch who has not yet been with the Saintsations a year, is a Film and TV graduate.

Far from being human Barbies, or, as one critic described them, "pole-dancers without the tips", these girls are all high-achievers, something they are known for in the US but which has been lost in typecasting overseas.

"Most cheerleaders work hard at school and because lots of us aspire to have a career in human relations, we see it as an activity which will help our future careers," says Dianne, who has the PR patter down to a fine art. "The rewards are not just on the field - they're about being role models for young girls in the community. We aspire to making a positive impact." "We're great role models because we're such well-rounded individuals," adds wide-eyed Amanda T, "and we take care of our bodies so in terms of feminism we're cheerleaders for that as well."

This is characterised as an American enterprise though the underlying connection is clear: competition, exercise and schooling. Does this not echo, in a renewed form, the 'muscular christianity' of Charles Kingsley? From my own experience, these values are held by former cheerleaders as well.

We should encourage this in our state schools just to get the usual left lackwits frothing at the mouth. After all, would this not be the wrong form of exercise?

Praying for a Miracle

David Graveney, England selector, has not yet come to terms with England's bad luck, the scale of their Ashes defeat and the disappointment of the fans. Now that we are in CB one day triangular series, the domination of Australia has proved a certainty.

Graveney is reduced to tautology in his responses:

Without Pietersen, their most dangerous player, England are now under threat of going through the tour of Australia without a solitary victory.
"It is a mathematical possibility," admitted chairman of selectors, David Graveney.
"I just sense from the Twenty20 and from Friday – I know Australia are playing some unbelievable cricket – there is a good spirit amongst the team.

All possibilities are mathematical, but a win against Australia would be nothing short of miraculous.

The Ashes Regained: 20??

England lost the Ashes after just three Tests. That must be one of the quickest and most galling defeats yet achieved by an England cricket team. Perhaps the bitter root of defeat is accentuated by my trip to the Antipodes in the next few days to witness the last two games, of what has so far been an appalling whitewash.

One must look on the bright side, but for selection and play, this has been a blast from the past, revealing problems that had been thought whipped. A question mark must hang over Flintoff's capabilities as captain: promoted too far, too fast.

Get rid of thy Ents

I was listening to "The World on Westminster", whilst doing my ironing on a sunny Saturday morning, when David Moss, some Tory MP of the Regulatory Function, spoke up for the evils of extended licensing laws. Now that the World Cup is upon us, David Moss wishes to ensure that there is a strict application of the licensing laws. One could almost hear, sotto voce,  a reactionary mumbling for the days when our drinking habits were determined by Great War munition workers. After all, you can't trust the people.

This was one of those rare occasions that I found myself siding with the Labour minister, although his arguments were ineffective and in error. David Moss pricked my libertarian antennae with his argument that  if you need a license to set up a  man on a piano in a pub (although if memory serves me, you need three musicians if you are going to get an Entertainment license), you should need one for showing a football match. Clearly, local councils do not deserve another opportunity to gouge those who actually work with the inception of another license. The Labour MP clearly thought so too, but he did not follow his thought process through clearly enough.

If you do not need a licence for showing football or playing guitar in your front room with a webcam, why should pubs have to pay for the privilege? Ergo, get rid of another pernicious tax on fun now, and give a boost to music. Oh, and people should be able to busk where they like, so long as property rights are observed.

The Flying Formula One

If, like me, you were vaguely annoyed that Livingstone acquired the Olympics, then you must hope that you are either away during the hell that will be the summer of 2012 (my holidays are accumulating now!), or you must campaign for new sports to appear in the Olympiad. The more violent, the more fast, the more dangerous the better. And free drugtaking, of course. Why not allow genetic modification for athletes. "It's at their own risk".

One candidate is the decidedly cool Rocket Racing League. This flying Formula One has not acquired lift as yet, but races are looked for in a year's time. The origins of this competition lie in the Ansari X Prize, with a nod to their barnstorming ancestors back in the early days of aircraft.

A debut exhibition race is planned for the X Prize Cup in September 2006. In the six months after that, the league expects to see races at an additional two air shows and two car racing events, with a championship event in New Mexico at the 2007 edition of the X Prize Cup.

The events will take a leaf from motor racing's book.

Rocket planes called X-Racers will compete on a sky 'track' in the design of a Grand Prix race, with long straights and the added dimenson of vertical ascents and deep banks. The race will run perpendicular to spectators and be about two miles long, one mile wide and 1,500m in the air. The X-Racers will be staggered upon take-off and fly their own 'tunnel' of space, each separated by a hundred metres or so.

Pilots will be guided by differential GPS (Global Positioning System) technology to help them avoid collisions.

Necessity may be the mother but thrillseeking is the father of invention: on second thoughts, the Olympics would ruin it. But I would still welcome a 'skytrack' in London, and you can submit your own idea for a rocker racer name on the website...

Latics for the Champions League?

I have always had a soft spot for Wigan Athletic. Ever since they entered the former Fourth Division in 1978, they have struck me as plucky underdogs in football and in their home town. Association football in Wigan holds the same status as rugby union in Australia, I suspect.

Now, the Latics, under the inspired leadership of their manager, Paul Jewell, sit just under the superstars of the English Premiership. If they maintain the successful record that recently gained Jewell Manager of the Month for September, this team might be in the running for a spot in the Champions League. Such a success would confirm that the pyramid structure of the English leagues, helped by a spot of financing, is not entirely dead.

However, Wigan tended to fade in the latter part of the season when they played in the First Division and, odds on, this will happen in the next few months. Still, let their fans dream of UEFA for this year, if nothing else.